drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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