she was so not down for the gang bang
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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