i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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