he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
