Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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