first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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