He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
