I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
