I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
