you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
