What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
