she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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