Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
