so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
