I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize