Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we made out on top of his cat.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
