I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
