dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Randomize
