I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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