no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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