I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
