just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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