Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
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Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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