I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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