But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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