someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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