Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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