If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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