What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
