She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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