yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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