Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I could make wine with my vomit
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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