guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
