Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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