it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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