i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
