yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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