So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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