D3 body, D1 cock
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
