My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
