Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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