I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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