I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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