Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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