peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
