Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
