Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
