I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize