She announced her abortion via fbk
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
