Barsexuality is the new black.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dick very happy bro
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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