I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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