just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
