the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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