Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
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