My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
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I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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