he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
