You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
