I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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