Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
