No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
