he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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