Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize