She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
