im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
